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Gossip is Murder…

Have you ever given this some thought? I certainly had not. Until a few months ago, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart (mid-gossip might I add),

“You are murdering that persons reputation with your words.”

Whoa! Right between the eyes with that one!!

Before I truly begin…I want to start out with a verse from scripture that Paul was writing to Timothy. Paul {used to be Saul, before his conversion} had treated Christians horribly. Believing he was acting in the best interest of the Law (before Christ’s death and resurrection) he was the chief proponent of brutally executing follower’s of Christ. So this is why he says in I Timothy 1:15 “This is a faithful and trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptable and approval, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost.” Paul knew firsthand the grievances caused by his refusal to allow Christ to truly reign in his life.

So here we go…

Hi, my  name is René, and I’m tempted to gossip on a daily basis.

There it is…out in the open…

I don’t necessarily want to write this blog about gossip.

It’s been sitting in my “drafts” for several months now and I can’t keep scrolling past it. I can’t say that I’m no longer tempted to participate in gossip…I’m just becoming more and more sensitive to the pathways that lead to gossip.

I think it’s a worthwhile topic to delve into because, let’s face it, if we’re honest with ourselves, we are ALL tempted to gossip!

Just thinking of this makes me also think of two passages in Romans ~ 7:15 “For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. “ and 7:25 “Thanks be to God [for my deliverance] through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind serve the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness, my sinful capacity—I serve] the law of sin.”

I immediately feel convicted in my heart by the Holy Spirit when I’ve gossiped. I don’t want to do it. I don’t mean to do it. But I fall into that quick trap way more than I want to admit. But this has taken time…I have lived too long where I ignored those promptings of the Holy Spirit that were telling me not to gossip, or even to listen to gossip. I was more concerned with people thinking I was trying to “act spiritual.” Oh brother!  What a fool I was!!

I mean, the world is right out there in the open with gossip…”hot Hollywood gossip”…”Gossip Girl”…TMZ…BuzzFeed…and well, every news outlet on the planet. In the Christian world it can be much more subtle…

If we are not careful, we can turn a meaningful prayer request into a conversation full of gossip.

The dictionary definition of gossip is this ~ 1. idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others: the            endless gossip about Hollywood stars. 2. light, familiar talk or writing. 3. Also, gossiper,   gossipera person given to tattling or idle talk.

Did you catch the part in #2 ~ even in writing we can be gossiping. Want to know why?

Because gossip comes out of our heart ~ it pours out through out mouth or through our fingertips.

Whether we talk about someone behind their back or via a text or email, it’s still gossip.

Now you may be wondering a bit more about the title of this article. How can gossip be murder?

Gossip is murder because you are annihilating someone’s character with as much impact as if you were to shoot them with a gun. The pain caused to someone’s life can sometimes be irreparable. I know, because malicious gossip spread about me when I was in high school (at church no less…spread around by the son of a pastor!!) pretty much ruined my character and cost my parents some of their friends.  Well, I guess if those couples were really friends of my parents, they would have stuck around to find out if the rumors were true or not. But hey, a 9th grade hormonal boy who happens to have a dad that is a pastor isn’t capable of lying…right???

{Disclaimer…I did forgive that boy and all the other people who believed – and continued to spread – the gossip many years later. Forgiveness is key people!!)

The Bible is VERY clear on God’s stance on gossip. 

Gossip is: malicious, untrustworthy, divisive, offensive, greedy, selfish, contentious, unrighteous, wicked, evil, arrogant, jealous, immoral, brutal, hates good, and it’s just plain mean!

The Lord tells us to steer clear of anything smelling (or tasting) like gossip!

It may feel good in the moment, but it’s forever a mark on our own character. It truly tells you more about the person gossiping than the person being gossiped about!

It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I began to realize (yeah….I can be a slow learner sometimes) that when I was participating in gossip, where someone was speaking ill of another person in our circle of friends, that they could very easily be speaking ill of me to other people that I knew too.

I mean, that was totally one of those “Duh!” moments in my life but I really believed that it couldn’t happen to me. We women can be so petty with one another. So vindictive. We’re a better mom because we don’t let our kids eat sugar. We’re a better wife because we cook three meals a day seven days a week. We’re a better housekeeper because we know how to prioritize. Garbage! No one is that perfect! NO ONE!

Instead of climbing up on the precarious pedestal, looking down upon all the other women around us, we gotta get real, hop off that thing, link arms together and lift each other up!  Find out what our friends truly need and help them achieve their goals. No one has it all together and shame on us for making others feel like they are less-than because they do things differently.

You know that phrase “hurt people, Hurt people.” It’s so true! ALL gossip comes full circle {because IT ALWAYS DOES!!} and the pain that is caused is truly heartbreaking.

We have to stop being in competition with each other. We have to stop comparing ourselves with each other and for sure with every unrealistic image of “womanly perfection” that is drowning the lives of every woman every where!

Will you commit yourself, with me, to practice “Mouth Control”?

It’s hard at first, but if we are in this together, we can combat the temptations of gossip together!

We can gather together in true prayer for one another.

We can keep confidences where they belong.

We can shore up the reputations of one another in our circles of influence and direct conversation AWAY from gossip instead of a slippery slope down into the pit.

And before you get offended that a few of the verses I found here only seem to direct ‘not gossiping’ to women…let’s be real…we females are the worst offenders of gossip. If God didn’t think that we would be the ones tempted to gossip the most, He would have phrased things differently.

Not one of the words written down in scripture has been put there by mistake.

Whether we like it or not. They are all there for a purpose. And that purpose is to draw us closer to the Lord so that we look more like Him when we are walking around in this world, and less like the world.

Please be encouraged to read through the following scripture passages. Even if you have already read them, read them again…it’s worth the reminder!

Let us decide TODAY that we will be champions of one another, lifting each other up and not shooting them down with malicious gossip. Think and pray before you speak…for that is the best way to stop gossip from even coming out of your mouth in the first place.

Leviticus 19:16 “You shall not go around as a gossip among your people, and you are not to act against the life of your neighbor [with slander or false testimony]; I am the Lord.”

Psalm 41:6 “And when one comes to see me, he speaks empty words, While his heart gathers malicious gossip [against me]; When he goes away, he tells it [everywhere].”

Proverbs 11:13 “He who goes about as a gossip reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy and faithful keeps a matter hidden.”

Proverbs 16:28 “A perverse man spreads strife, And one who gossips separates intimate friends.”

Proverbs 17:9 “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.”

Proverbs 18:8 “The words of a whisperer (gossip) are like dainty morsels [to be greedily eaten]; They go down into the innermost chambers of the body [to be remembered and mused upon].”

Proverbs 20:19 “He who goes about as a gossip reveals secrets; Therefore do not associate with a gossip [who talks freely or flatters].”

Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer [who gossips], contention quiets down.”

Romans 1:29 “until they were filled (permeated, saturated) with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice and mean-spiritedness. They are gossips [spreading rumors],”

2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you not to be as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder;”

1 Timothy 3:11 “Women must likewise be worthy of respect, not malicious gossips, but self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things.”

1 Timothy 5:13 “Now at the same time, they also learn to be idle as they go from house to house; and not only idle, but also gossips and busybodies [meddlers in things that do not concern them], talking about things they should not mention.”

2 Timothy 3:3 “[and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good,”

Titus 2:3 “Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good,”

Blessings,

René

 

Proverbs 11 verse 13

 

 

Christian Mentors, Moms, Stay at Home Moms, Women's Ministries

Punctured Faith

I’ve watched enough medical drama’s to know that having a punctured lung is a really bad thing.  Okay, that’s a complete understatement I realize, but it’s true.  Our lung tissue is so delicate that God created a cage of ribs to protect it. But if something makes it through that cage and the lung is punctured, that person is in immediate and very real danger of dying.  You must seek medical attention quickly so that they can avert tragedy and begin the healing process.

According to WebMD, here’s a very basic answer as to how a lung can be injured: “There are two main types of lung injuries: direct and indirect.  Direct lung injuries are caused by infections, chemicals, and trauma that directly affect the lung. An indirect lung injury is caused by another condition elsewhere in the body. A lung injury can cause a collapsed lung or develop into acute respiratory distress syndrome — two potentially life-threatening conditions.”

Now that we have a medical definition of a punctured lung, I hope you are still with me here…let’s look at the similarities of that physical issue compared to have punctured faith.

Similarly, your faith can be punctured by indirect and direct injury.  A direct injury could look like losing a loved one, paying attention to deceitful thoughts from the enemy, or being hurt by someone we trusted (or even someone that we didn’t even know).  Indirectly, your faith could be punctured by a trauma that was in your past but was never dealt with. So when it rears its ugly head, you feel like you have “no idea where that came from” and you are forced to deal with the trauma many years (or decades) later.

As physical injury to our lungs creates a life-threatening condition, so too comes a threat to our spiritual well-being when our faith has been punctured.  Either way, we must act immediately!  Many times, it takes someone else taking a closer look at our life to see that we are about to succumb to the distress our body is going through, in order to save us.

Faith distress looks different for everyone.  Every single person on this planet is going through something.  No one is exempt from pain, grief, sadness, anger, desolation, vulnerability, sorrow, despair, fear, or basic concern.  BUT….we do have the Great Healer as our Heavenly Father, and He can take away those issues when we rest in Him.  Not an easy task at all, but with His strength and His assistance, we CAN do it!

What happens when we decide to hold onto those attitudes?  They are directly and indirectly poking holes in our faith which makes it harder to breathe in the life that God has for us.  There have only been a handful of times in my life that I felt so disheartened, so desperate, so distraught, that I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack.  I felt like the world was spinning out of control and gravity was slipping out from under me.  I wanted the pain to stop.  I didn’t want to think.  I didn’t want to try and fix anything.  That is a frightening place to be and I thank the Lord for the people in my life who pulled me out of those potentially tragic situations.

Thankfully, our spiritual lungs are much tougher than our physical lungs.  I am grateful that in all of God’s goodness and grace, He is the patient Physician who attends us along our path to recovery.  He brings us friends to encourage us, His Holy Word to strengthen us, and many times uses seemingly random interactions with strangers to call out to us that He sees us.  His goal is to make us whole again ~ to bring restoration to our punctured faith.

Today, my heart is heavy with the sadness I feel for one of my daughters’ friends who lost their mother to a long illness this morning.  In the midst of her young adulthood, about to graduate from college, she has to now mourn the loss of her mom.  This is too young for her to mourn.  And at this time in her life?  So many things do not make sense to me, so this is EXACTLY when I have to trust that even in this, God has a mighty plan for this sweet young woman’s life.  I have to believe that He sees her and that He will carry her through the distress and extreme sadness of this time in her life.

It is God’s strength and being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit that we can sustain injuries, and come out healed on the other side.

Ephesians 3:20-21 says, Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

Remember, this isn’t a “rub the magic lamp and the genie will grant us our wishes” kind of deal.  The life that the Lord intends for us to live, is absolutely far greater than anything we can imagine.  Humbly we come through tragedy, with a fresh dependence on the Lord to give us what we need.

Ephesians 3:12 tells of the promise we have, “in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.”

Notice that it does not say that we have confidence in our self to come boldly to the throne of God in our time of need ~ or in our time of rest!  Our boldness come through our faith in the LORD.

How do we know that the Lord will hear us when we call on Him?  Or when He comes alongside us to repair that punctured faith? Right here in 1 Thessalonians 5:24 states the answer, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.”  As believers, we are called a Child of God.  We have been adopted into the Royal Priesthood of our Heavenly Father.  He calls us His own and what He promises, He will fulfill.

Life is not exempt from hardship.  God’s Word promises that as well.  But He ALWAYS provides a way of escape!  A way out of the dark shadows of fear and doubt.

Isaiah 43:1b-3a, are a collection of promises that I absolutely have clung to in various times in my life.  These words from the Lord are so precious and I hope they offer you comfort today ~
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
What absolute joy these bring ~ can you feel it!?  Look at all those amazing promises!!  Come on now…stand up and say them out loud…
He has redeemed you!
He calls you by name!
You are His!
He will be with you!
You will not be overwhelmed!
You will not be consumed!
He is the Lord!
He is Holy!
He is your Savior!
Do not make fear and doubt your friend ~ they will disappoint you and suck the life out of you every single time!  Trust in the One whose ways are higher than ours, Who never lies, Who never cheats or steals, Who always has the best intentions and plans for you, Who always keeps His Word, and Who is always dependable.
When I was a young girl, I played soccer for several years.  When we practiced running the ball toward the goal net, our coach would tell us emphatically, “When in doubt, kick it out.”  Well, let me take a bit of liberty with this one and tell you, that as you run toward the goal of living your life to serve the Lord with all you’ve got….When in doubt, SHOUT it out!  Cry out to Him in your pain and grief, shout out praises to Him in the midst of chaos!  He will hear you and He will carry you the rest of the way.
If you feel that your faith has been punctured by the sharp disappointments and tragedies of life, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10).
Psalm 16 verse 8
Blessings,René