Christian Mentors, College age women, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, women, Women in Ministry, Women's Ministries, Writers

Are you in Good Hands…

You’re in your living room, half watching a TV show, when a certain insurance commercial comes on. You know the one, the guy with the super deep voice that just draws you in. The kind of voice that is talking about something that you now know you need even though you weren’t looking for it 5 minutes ago. And then he says, “Now that you know the truth, are you in good hands?”

Well, are you?

When I was a child, one of the most safe places I could find was walking side by side with my father while he held my hand. My father seemed bigger than life to me. I mean, he was a fireman…how cool was that! He ran into burning buildings when people were scrambling to get out. In his hands, he directed his team on how to best fight the fire. In his hands, he could guide the tremendous force of water coming through a fire hose to douse a blaze. In his hands, he could analyze the aftermath of a fire and figure out why and how (and who!) the fire started. But his strength didn’t just lie in the power of his job.

In his hands, he held a colicky baby (yeah…that’d be me) while he read the paper, patiently waiting for sleep to arrive. In his hands, he buried his first born son from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). In his hands, he comforted other families who had lost children the same way. In his hands, he carried severely burned people out of fiery buildings. In his hands, he carried small children who didn’t make it out of a fire. In his hands, he taught a timid 17 year old how to drive. In his hands, he spent all year growing a cottony-soft white beard all so that he could play Santa to my daughters (which the two year old truly thought he was the real deal and was dumbfounded when “Santa” showed up at her front door on Christmas morning.) In his hands, he cared for our family and for his parents as they aged, with a quiet humility.

In his hands, I was never afraid.

I’m beyond grateful that I have a picture here on earth of how a father loves his child. It’s just a glimpse, because in all truthfulness, for as much as I love my father, he wasn’t perfect. He’d never claim to be. But he’s always been there when I need him. Or when I needed him to teach my children algebra, because math and I have never been friends. I have several friends who did not have a great relationship with their earthly father and in some ways it has made it more difficult to cultivate a deep relationship with Father God. But there is always room for improvement.

Because in God’s Hands, we know the truth and we can know the depth of love and care like we’ve never experienced.

I’m just gonna let the living words of the Psalms speak for themselves here ~

*Psalm 16:11 “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.”

*Psalm 18:35 “You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds and sustains me; Your gentleness [Your gracious response when I pray] makes me great.”

*Psalm 31:5 “Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, the God of truth and faithfulness.”

*Psalm 63:8 “My soul [my life, my very self] clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.”

*Psalm 92:4 “For You, O Lord, have made me glad by Your works; At the works of Your hands I joyfully sing.”

*Psalm 139:5 “You have enclosed me behind and before, And [You have] placed Your hand upon me.”

 

In His hands, I have been created. In His hands, I am secure. In His hands, there is a good path set before me. In His hands, I am made joyful. In His hands, I am protected. In His hands, I am saved. In His hands, I am redeemed. In His hands, I am loved. In His hands, I can choose to love Him back. In His hands, I can show others the truth of His words. In His Hands, I am redeemed. In His Hands, I am qualified. In His hands, I can be a good mother and wife. In His hands, I can be the woman He designed me to be.

In His hands, I have my life.

We are absolutely in good hands. We are in the best hands when we are firmly in the grasp of His Hands.

Now, I want you to picture yourself with the Lord. Hear the booming comfort of His voice. Let Him ask you, “Now that you know the truth, are you in good hands?”

Blessings,

René

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Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, Women's Ministries, Writers

Authentic Joy…

What come to your mind when you hear the word ‘joy’?

Candy ~ Almond joy?

Songs ~ Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee

Or different variations of the word JOY ~ happiness? Delight? Pleasure? Enjoyment? Bliss?

Or maybe on a more serious note, you’re wondering when the last time it was that you actually felt joyful?

So much of the idea of success in the world today is based on individualized aspects…What makes you happy? What lights you up? What moves you? What’s your passion? What drives you? Do those things!

But what happens on the mornings when you wake up and the answer to those questions are a big fat nothing? Then what do you do?

John 15:11 says “I have told you these things so that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing.”

So this is what I want to focus on the blog today ~ how to have joy everyday no matter what the circumstances.

Joy is defined as, “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation; a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated; the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.”

There are over 300 references to ‘joy’ in the Bible, so I’m going to throw it out there, this is something that is important to the Lord…something that He wants us to understand and embrace for our benefit. As opposed to the word ‘happiness’ which is only mentioned a mere eight times. Joy and Happiness are totally different…even though the definition of Joy contains the word happiness.

Happiness is fleeting and is usually attached to an event or how a person makes us feel.

Joy on the other hand, is a state of being. It is a way we can feel no matter what circumstances we are experiencing.

Oh…but there’s one more word I want to touch on before I share a story with you ~ FEELING.

The most important thing I can tell you about feelings is that many times, okay, most times, they aren’t to be trusted as the absolute in how we respond to a situation. Feelings are temporary. I love the quote, “Never make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.”

Let me tell you a little story ~

In January 1999, we were six months in to living in our dream home in Pasadena…white picket fence and all. My husband had a great job in the entertainment industry, money wasn’t an issue, we had two healthy daughters and decided to try for a third. Life was fantastic. I was so happy because I had everything I wanted. Did ya catch how many “I’s” were in that last sentence??

And then God decided to change the course of our life. It wasn’t horrible, but it was hard!

My husband came home one evening and said, “I’ve been praying a lot lately and I really feel that God wants me to quit my job and open my own company. I know this will mean that we will have to trade in our cars for less expensive ones and figure out if we can keep the kids in private school, oh yeah, and we’ll have to sell the house.”

Well, he told me how he felt, so I was gonna tell him how I felt…

I can still picture the scene in my mind; he was standing by the staircase and I was one stair up so we were just about eye to eye. I non-to-politely (honestly, I was downright rude about it), told him that he couldn’t possibly be hearing from God and I didn’t care what he felt because he was wrong. It was definitely NOT one of my proudest moments as a supportive Christian wife. But my husband truly loves me like Jesus does and he was so patient with me.

He just smiled, asked me to pray about it, and said that when I was ready to talk about it, to let him know.

That made me FEEL so mad!

Had I allowed my feelings to continue to prevail, I would have missed out on experiencing what true Joy can be.

It took the next 9 months to deal with all the things that I was feeling. How my heart ached at the thought of selling our dream home and moving again. How sad I was to be losing a very comfortable salary. Then I started realizing that all the things that were making me sad, were just things. I would still have my family and how could I walk away from doing what the Lord had asked us to do.

To step out in faith requires that we operate in the Fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23a says, “But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

I love how the Amplified version of the Bible describes peace as being something “inner” ~ and what is on the inside of us is what ends up coming to fruition on the outside of us. Through this passage we can see that authentic joy has nothing to do with our happiness; it has everything to do with where our identity comes from.

The worst thing my husband said to me that night was that we would have to sell our house. It was MY house. I had big plans (literally…we had just finished paying for an architect to draw up remodeling plans a few weeks prior). I had already imagined our future Christmases, our girls coming down the staircase for prom & taking pictures in front of the Batchehelder fireplace, how incredible our back yard would look as we hosted friends and family for their weddings amidst fragrant bouquets of flowers and covered in a canopy of fairy lights.

I felt cheated. I felt mad. I felt slighted. I felt my dreams weren’t important.

And for what….a house?

The last day of work for my husband at his original job, was November 19, 2000. For the next decade, I learned quite intimately how I must trust the Lord to be my strength, my hope, my delight, my joy.

Proverbs 10:28 is quite thought-provoking, “The hope of the righteous [those of honorable character and integrity] is joy, But the expectation of the wicked [those who oppose God and ignore His wisdom] comes to nothing.”

Yeah, the Holy Spirit doesn’t mince words here.

And I battled between spiritual integrity and selfish expectations for a long time. It was not pretty.

On the outside, I would plaster on that happy face. But deep down, and many days it bubbled barely beneath the surface, I was angry. And I’m sure you know this…but you cannot be both angry and joyful at the same time. It’s like expecting to bite into a luscious donut and all you get is tofu…they don’t go together…like at all…ever!

Why did we have to struggle so much? Paying our bills, the mortgage, keeping food in the fridge, and gas in the car….seriously? Didn’t GOD tell my husband to quit a perfectly good job and create a new one? Wasn’t it GOD that whispered to the heart of my husband to do his work for Him?  How can GOD direct us to start a Christian company and not bless it?  I mean, really. I was even dyeing & cutting my own hair (oh yeah…it was not a good look…) and stopped getting manicures.

I knew it was petty. I knew that God was in charge. I knew that we would receive blessings from God that would be nothing less than miraculous. I knew all of that in my head, but my heart was in complete denial & filled with frustration pretty much every day.

Proverbs 17:22 summed up my life, “A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

Well, the second half of that verse sums up my life for far too long.

We moved ~ God graced us with a beautiful new home.

We tried for a third child and had a healthy daughter.

Our cars were different but they were great ~ and paid for!

Our girls were able to remain at their private school ~ total miracle.

We had the support of our church community.

And I still loved my husband.

Things were looking up.

Then the ceiling in our kitchen started to fall down…because of a burst water pipe…from the upstairs bathroom…

Really?

Happiness disappeared like a vapor and Joy…inner peace…that wasn’t even part of the plan anymore. I moved into survival mode.

For the next 18 months, the Lord took us down a road that I still look back on in amazement. Within the first few weeks, I realized that I needed to change my perspective real quick or I was going to implode.

Actually, I didn’t realize it on my own…thankfully I have wonderful mentors and friends who spoke hard truth to my deaf ears and hardened heart. God wasn’t punishing me, my husband, or our family. He was using this time to prune out of my heart what didn’t need to be there in order for His purposes to be completed within me and throughout my life as a witness for Him.

I was broken but knew deep down I was still blessed. I had to pray often for my joy to be renewed. Very often in the beginning!

Psalm 16:11 promises this, “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.”

Where is my joy? It’s in His presence.

Where are the pleasures of life? In His right hand.

Hello! Life changer right there!

We lived in a local hotel for 6 months then moved to a furnished apartment for one year while our house/kitchen went through insurance denials, mold abatement, insurance stalemates, lots of waiting, finally remodeling, then suing the insurance company and moving back home.

I had to learn how to have joy ~ a joy that didn’t come from anything around me or from anything I could produce. I had to rely on the Lord to move within my heart, mind, and soul to create His perfect joy.

I had to ask Him for it…and He gladly answered that prayer!

Part of my responsibility as a wife was to be a support to my husband however I could…happy wife happy life…but not just happy…joyful. As a Mom, my daughters needed as much stability in their lives as possible. At 2, 6, and 8, none of it made sense.  And sleeping together in a pull-out sofa lost its charm pretty quick!

What’s a momma to do…pray!

So I found things I could be joyful about…

Living in a hotel meant I had room/cleaning service…every day!

Apartment laundry rooms meant I could get 15 loads of laundry done in about 3 hours instead of 12…yeah…Every.Week!

Apartment living meant it only took 45 minutes to clean house instead of all day at home.

In both locations, I brought in photos from home and hung them on the wall with those fabulous 3m hooks. I brightened up the beige walls of the apartment entry way with big colorful maps of the USA and one of the world that I found at Costco. I restored part of my sanity by donning a mask & going to our house and getting my sewing machine so I could be creative. I mean, I had all that “free time” that I didn’t have to spend doing laundry or cleaning, right!?!

One of the best ways that the Lord humbled me to learn how to receive His joy was to receive help from others. I didn’t want to be a charity case. But a very wise friend reminded me of how I felt when I was able to bless others with a home-cooked meal, or free babysitting, or a paid-for date night…people wanted to do that for our family now. It’s hard to be on the receiving end, but it’s so worth it.

My attitude began to change and I began to see our reality through the lens of authentic joy. A joy that is not borne out of circumstances, but out of following Christ and choosing to be obedient to what He calls me to walk through.

Once we were able to move back into our house, our life didn’t suddenly become easy.  The money struggles were still there but my husband and I would pray, “Okay Lord, you love to show off to Your children how well you can provide…let’s see what You’re going to do this time!” And we really meant it! And He would always come through. There isn’t enough time to recount the miracles of how God provided for our family during that decade, but it was phenomenal!

Just one quick story, that is still a bit emotional for me to think about, was how we literally had no food in the fridge. We finished up the last of the cereal, eggs, and milk, and used up the rest of what we had to make three little lunches for our girls to take to school. My husband and I prayed before I left to take the girls to school, that God would provide a miracle for us to be able to feed our family. I won’t lie, we were nervous but we trusted God.

As I exited car line and went down a side street, I pulled over and cried and knew I needed to discard my pride and call my parents to help us…and now that I have grown children, there really isn’t an age where that momma heart doesn’t kick in to want to help out your kiddos.

As I held the phone in my hands praying for God to give me the courage to call, it rang…it was my husband…he said, “Everything is great and I’m fine, but you need to come to the office before you go home.” I told him I was about to call my mom about the grocery dilemma and he told me to “wait. Come to the office.” Fine!

I pulled in and walked slowly to his office. He sat there with tears streaming down his face holding a card in his hands. He held it out to my and said, “Just open it.” It was a beautiful floral design, “Thinking of You” kind of card. Inside it read, “Dear Bancroft Family, You are always in my thoughts. Love, Jesus”. Then my husband handed me another little envelope that had been inside the card.

It was a $300 gift card to Ralphs grocery store, written on it with a black sharpie, “To the Bancroft’s ~ Love, Jesus”.

He provided more than enough.

And I still have the card as a reminder that Jesus sees our needs. And that He shops at Ralphs!

Romans 12:11-13, “never lagging behind in diligence; aglow in the Spirit, enthusiastically serving the Lord; constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength], contributing to the needs of God’s people, pursuing [the practice of] hospitality.”

I learned that there is no “last minute” with God ~ it might feel like MY last minute, but it’s His perfect timing! God has shown up for us every single time.

We have known plenty and we have known want.

But most importantly, we have always known that our joy rests in Him and not in our circumstances.

That is true authentic joy.

To trust the Lord with EVERYTHING! You don’t have to be happy when you go through difficult times, but it is possible to be joyfully content in the midst of the struggle.

Blessings,

René

Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, Women's Ministries, Writers

Celebrations and Preparations…

I absolutely LOVE to have parties & get-togethers!! To the point it drives my sweet husband a bit crazy. 

I mean, what better way to get your house clean than to prep for a party! Right? In our almost 27 years of marriage, we have moved 14 times…yep…fourteen! And every single time, we’ve hosted family & friends for a birthday party or holiday celebration within a month of our move in date. My family indulges me, even in the midst of my crazy, to help get the house in order.

Boxes are unpacked, items put away, pictures are hung on the walls, and drawers are filled. And okay, whatever I don’t know what to do with in the moment, stays in the box and goes into the garage! Come on…you’ve got a few (or 20!) of those boxes in your garage too!! 

But inevitably, “crazy-town mom” would rear her ugly head & the beautiful event we were preparing for would be scarred with one of my freak outs. It’s hard sometimes to look at photos of various events from past because they are marred (in my mind at least) by my unrealistic expectations that I poured out on my family like boiling tar over the walls of a castle onto the enemy. It still makes me cringe, and I once again have to give those guilt feelings to the Lord and ask Him to touch my heart & mind with His grace…and grace for my family too.

Over the years, the intensity of planning parties has lessened for me because the true value of these times of celebration is about the people. It’s not about the platters & bowls matching perfectly on an expertly laid out serving table.  And thank the Lord, I stay away from Pinterest…no judgement for you if you have all kinds of things ‘pinned on you party boards’…I just know that for me, it would be more of a burden than a joy.

But I LOVE to celebrate….like, EVERYTHING!  I have boxes in the garage for every holiday…Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Fall, Thanksgiving, and of course Christmas (those take up the most space).  And yes….there is a difference between “Fall” and “Thanksgiving” decorations!!

I’ve been known to put in silly  notes to my kids lunches all the way through high school!  I love to arrange tea parties and coffee dates with friends, just because. Surprising a special teacher at school with treats or their favorite Starbucks drink. Baking cookies during the holidays and throwing old-fashioned “cookie exchange” parties.

I simply LOVE to CELEBRATE!  After all these years, I’m finally getting better at the “pre-celebrations” part!

Several years ago, September 9, 2013 to be exact, my husband’s first book was released!  It was so exciting!  He had worked on it for over two year in-between his day job and keeping up with all of our family adventures.  So of course, I wanted to throw him a party to show him how proud we all were of him.  We wanted to celebrate his accomplishments!

He wanted to go out to dinner with just our family.

So of course, I organized a surprise party for him with our friends and family!  Appetizers for the guests to enjoy until we got back home and yummy desserts to enjoy after we arrived.

I had the task of making sure he didn’t go out to our “garage fridge” so he wouldn’t see all the goodies. Then, I had to figure out how to get him out of the house. The errand I created wasn’t one where we would get dressed up, and I thought, “What does it matter? We’re celebrating his achievements, not our wardrobe!”  I had our three girls ready to spring into action to set up food & decorations after we left. I remember how surprised they were when I told them, “Y’all know where all the serving platters are, you know what food we’re serving, have fun with it, get creative & use whatever you want.”

They just stared at me like I’d spoken in a foreign language. Finally one of them spoke up and said, “Anything? Are you sure? I mean, usually you want things in a specific way.”  And they were right…they’d seen “crazy-town mom” one too many times. I assured them that I would be happy with whatever they did & wanted them to use their creativity. The best part…I meant it…and they believed me.

Oh, and my sweet husband was completely surprised & loved the party. No stress. No craziness. Just celebration!

But what really has spurred my recollection of that party was the “party weekend extravaganza” we recently enjoyed. 

Yes…ENJOYED…every minute of it!!

I enjoyed it thoroughly because I let go of my unrealistic expectations & control. I remained completely present at every event. Not allowing myself to jump to the next one. Each celebration was unique unto itself & could not be repeated.  The help that was offered, was gladly received.  The friends who helped set up and clean up were immensely appreciated. Dirty dishes in the sink for days…didn’t matter because that’s what a dishwasher was for and there was plenty of time later for that.  The people were the important parts of each celebration to focus on.

Within three days, these were the fabulous memory-making parties our family was involved with:

Friday night – High School Baccalaureate for our youngest daughter, followed by a family dinner, and a 10pm showing of “Wonder Woman.” ~ which was amazing!!

Saturday morning/afternoon – High School Graduation (our last daughter graduated..so this was really “it” for high school!), followed by her party.

Saturday evening ~ drove an hour-ish to my nieces “California Baby Shower”…she is such a cute pregnant momma!  So wild that I’ve known her since she was 3 months old and now she’s married and about to become a Mom!

Sunday morning ~ Family Wedding Shower for our oldest daughter.  What a joy to meet with all of her fiancé’s side of the family.  And seriously….my first baby is getting married!  WOW!!!  This shower was lovingly given by his side of the family,  and it was truly a blessing to simply “showing up” and celebrating my girl and seeing how loved she was by her new soon-to-be family.

Sunday afternoon ~ Visit with my father-in-law for his 94th Birthday.  It was worth the hour long drive to see him for a quick bit and tell him how much we love him.  He is not a great health right now, so it was important we go and see him instead of just calling.

Sunday evening ~ Visit with my parents, brother and sister-in-law to celebrate and early Father’s Day (another hour-ish drive).  Our middle daughter was in town for the graduation and Tony and I would be out of the country on the actual day.  Since this was the busiest day, we decided that we would have dessert and coffee instead of a full meal.

Then….back home! Exhausted but happy!

Each of these events were special and worth celebrating fully!  We made it to each one on time (um…yeah….first time to get to graduation ceremony and did NOT have to take the satellite parking shuttle service back to the venue thank you very much!) and I allowed myself to have fun at each one.  Because I was not thinking of the next one!

It was a whirlwind weekend for sure, but absolutely none of the photos that were taken have even a hint of “crazy town mom.”  I love that!

I’m thankful that the Lord is helping me to grow in this area because He created me with a love for celebrating my people!  What I do with that gift is either honoring to Him or honoring myself.  We all know which attitude is better to have.

When I’ve tried to prepare for a party with the intention of impressing those in attendance, it has rarely gone how I expected it to go and end up regretting choices, being ashamed of a negative attitude I allowed to take hold of me, or worse yet, making my family feel like they cannot do anything well enough or good enough simply because it’s not how I would have done it.

I believe God will bring back this “Celebration Weekend” to my mind whenever I start giving “crazy town mom” the keys to the party bus!

God wants us to celebrate…it’s in our nature because it is in HIS nature to celebrate!  The Bible is full of celebrations and feasts, and not one of them was to glorify the host or the party planner.  They were to honor Him….for His goodness, His mercy and grace, His protection, and His joy and love that He has for us.

In no way have I reached perfection in the party planning adventures…but I’m getting much better. I’ve become an expert of the “quick clean” ~ which is nothing to really be proud of…just being honest here…seriously though, don’t open my bedroom door!

But when people leave my home, I want them to go away from the house with a smile on their face, a lightness in their heart, and a feeling of being refreshed because they had been celebrated…they had been warmly embraced and made to feel welcome.

Don’t be afraid of the celebration…of the party planning…of the organization of it all.  Once you have the idea of a party, give it back to the Lord and He will guide you in the steps of the preparations. He really does care about you and how you want to celebrate the people in your life.

So go plan that party!  It’ll be fun!!

Blessings,

Rene’

Celebrations blog

 

Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Women's Ministries, Writers

Careful, your mask is slipping…

I was recently watching a show that I had recorded on TV, called Kingdom of Heaven, taking place in the 12th century during the Crusades, set in Jerusalem. {http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0320661/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1}

It was very fascinating to me that the king of Jerusalem at the time was not a well man, he had leprosy. But that did not stop him from ruling the country. His birthright deemed it so and he did his job to the best of his ability. It was interesting how he wore a metal face mask to hide the ravages of leprosy that had attacked his face. For every day tasks he had a plain mask, where the only thing you could see was his eyes. It was a little unsettling to be able to hear him speak but not see his mouth or his lips moving. The mask was solid in the area all around his face except for his eyes. What I found very interesting was that when he knew he needed to go to war with the enemy, with all of his frailties and disfigurement, he knew as the king he had to be the one to lead his people, his army into battle.

He did not dress down for the battle either. He put on his full armor.

It was so astonishing to see him enter the battlefield dressed in his finest linen edged with intricate gold stitching and amazingly intricate patterns of other gold fabric that had been woven into the garment. But what was even more fascinating was his mask. The mask he wore was absolutely stunning. It had been carved with beautiful flowers and vines that intersected all over the whole thing. When he met his enemy in the middle of the battlefield he spoke with strength and determination and was able to settle their proposed battle without any bloodshed.

Upon his death he wore another mask that was darker in color to reflect the somber situation. The last words he spoke to his sister were, “Please remember me for who I am and what I used to look like in my youth.” You see, she had not seen him in his disfigurement.

He had servant’s that took care of him and his decaying body…and were sworn to secrecy. And I don’t believe it was from embarrassment, I think it was from a place of honor and respect. But after this king had breathed his last, the sister removed mask ~ his beautiful & perfect mask ~ to reveal a face that was hideously disfigured by the leprosy.

She was of course shocked, but you could tell the sadness in her eyes was simply because her brother was now gone. Not because of what he looked like.

So how many masks do we wear throughout our life, our day?

When we are feeling disfigured spiritually by the sin in our life, we put on a mask, and use beautiful garments to hide what is really going on underneath. We have different masks that we wear depending on who we are with. A mask with our family when we are out in public. A mask when we are with our family behind closed doors. A mask that we wear when we are volunteering at our kids school. The mask we wear at work every day. Maybe even the mask we wear with our spouse?

Most of the time I think that mask we tend to put on is just a regular, simple and fairly ambiguous mask. The one that says, “Life is great!” when it really isn’t.

The more beautiful the mask, the more disfigured the soul. The harder we try to distract from the ache of our soul, the deeper the lines are at carved into our mask. We don’t want to let anyone know about what is really going on…

  • Anxiety
  • Financial problems
  • Eating Disorder
  • An abusive relationship
  • Difficult children that are getting out of control
  • Addiction problem
  • And the list goes on and on.

So what happens when that mask slips? When our frustrations and fears get the better of us and we begin acting out of control?

Luke 12:2-3 says, “There is nothing covered that won’t be uncovered, nothing hidden that won’t be made known. Therefore, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in an ear in private rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops. (HSCB)

How much of our life stays covered and hidden from the Lord?  NONE of it! The masks that we have so cleverly and carefully fashioned over the years, will fall away in the instant that we come before the Lord, humble ourselves, and ask Him to make the beautiful the disfigurement of sin.

I John 5:12-15 reminds us, “The one who has the Son has life. The one who doesn’t have the Son of God does not have life. I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. Now this is the confidence we have before Him: Whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for. (HCSB) {emphasis mine}

The Lord came to earth for YOU…to bring you back from the depths of sin and eternal death.  He does not want you to experience the death of sin, so He has given us the gift of His salvation.  There is nothing we can do to earn it.  There is no need to wear a mask of perfection for Him…because He can already see beneath the mask.

From personal experience, I know what happens when you remove the masks you where in your life. Freedom happens. But it isn’t easy. God expects us and wants us to be a part of the recovery. We have to be determined to operate within the power and strength of HIS might…not our own.  When we try to do it on our own, the mask will pop right back on!  Don’t save the mask, no matter how beautiful you think it is!  THROW IT OUT!

You find true freedom in walking the path as the person God created you to be, flaws and all. You will bring honor to the Lord when others see that you struggle in life, but more importantly, you put your faith and hope in the power of the Lord.  When the mask comes off, we are proclaiming that we are not perfect, but we are perfectly LOVED by the Creator of the Universe.

And if you have any doubts as to where “the mask” fits into the spiritual battle armor (Ephesians 6)  we are called to wear?

It doesn’t.

There is NO mask.

When the mask comes off, our countenance will tell the story of God’s redemption and His love.

Matthew 5:16 declares, “In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” {emphasis mine}
Take off your mask today ~ choose to live in the freedom of eternal life ~ and share with others the great glory of God’s salvation!
Blessings,
 René
Luke 12 verses 2-3

 

 

 

Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, Women's Ministries, Writers

My Whole Life is Going to be Busy…

Ironically, I began this post two weeks ago…I should’ve known!  Every day is full of busyness and guess what…every day for the rest of your life will be filled with busyness!  It just cannot be an excuse any longer.  We will always be busy with something ~ even if that “something” is doing nothing.

I know that I make plenty of excuses as to why things don’t get done.  I also realize that there are times when I really need to get things done and accomplish specific tasks, but I can’t do them in a timely manner because I’m still dealing with something that should have been taken care days (or months) beforehand. Time just gets away from me and I’m sure you have experienced this too.

The times I feel the worst about being “too busy” is when I have not scheduled things in my day appropriately and the consequences are usually ones that my family has to pay.  Dinner is not ready at a decent hour.  Dishes are piled high in the sink for the third day in a row.  I’m late picking someone up, or dropping them off.  And the consequence I deal with the most is staying up far too late to finish up a bunch of little tasks that I could have done during the day so that I could go to bed early and stay healthy.

But this blog isn’t about all the “shoulda woulda coulda’s” in our life; and it certainly isn’t intended to bring on guilt.  We all do that to ourselves far too easily anyway!

My hearts desire is to encourage you to take a step back, breathe in deep, and know that through all the busyness of life there are ways to create space.  The Lord has been giving me great ideas on how to do this and I want to share them with you.

Now, if you have little ones and you’re reading this…trust me, I remember those days and sometimes your day (or your week!) just buzzes by in a blur and you realize you’ve been wearing the same clothes for a few days and can’t remember the last time you washed your hair.  But it’s all worth it when you look back and see all that you did for your kiddos.  You being present with them, reading a book or playing a game, just being WITH them is way more important that what you have on or what your hair looks like.  There are still ways to find those “spaces” in your day, so hang in there.  They look completely different than that of someone who doesn’t have little ones at home, and it’s supposed to.

Sometimes that “breathing space” is all in our head…and in a great way!  Romans 8:5-6 (NLT) says, “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.  So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”  

Simply by filling our mind with the Word of God and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our thought processes (ie…how we manage our time and daily tasks), then we will have peace.  Notice that this doesn’t say we will have perfection.  It means that we will be able to deal with all the craziness of life in a peaceful way.  It means that when we need to speak into a situation, we can speak life instead of death.  What I mean by this is that we can be encouraging instead of nagging to our children when they need to pick up their toys, or their disaster zone rooms.  We can peacefully find ways to let them know how important it is to pay attention to what you are asking of them instead of knee-jerk reactions of hollering at them to just get it done.

So if we are too fill our minds with scripture to draw from when we need, how are we to accomplish this?  Life is just so busy!

Here’s the best answer ~ our God is an incredibly creative God and He created you perfectly so He has the exact answer for YOU!  Ask Him to give you ideas that will blend in with your family activities and with your particular daily tasks.

Let’s face it though, it’s super easy to find time to scroll through social media or even sit and read a few blogs (thank you by the way!).  I’m right there with ya!

I want to encourage you to find what works for YOU!  One of the greatest benefits you will recieve is that the more time you spend with the Lord, the more time you will WANT to spend with Him.  The more you are filled up, the more you can pour out to others and then run back to the arms of your loving Father who will gladly fill you up again and again and again!

HE WILL NEVER EVER RUN OUT OF WHAT YOU NEED TO BE FILLED!!  EVER!!

Acts 2:25-28 (ESV) remind us what King David penned in the Old Testament, For David says concerning him,“‘I saw the Lord always before me, for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken; therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; my flesh also will dwell in hope. For you will not abandon my soul to Hades, or let your Holy One see corruption. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will make me full of gladness with your presence.’”

So…ideas…here’s a few that I will be implementing into my new schedule.  Take a peek and see what might work for you, or how you can tweak it to work in your schedule.

* After dropping off the kiddos at school, make a quick pit stop at a local coffee shop or park with the express intention of reading through your devotional…and NOT to meet up with a girlfriend, at least until after you have had your time with the Lord.

* Put your devotional time in your calendar to make sure you don’t over-schedule your day.

* If you have to sit in car-line (not gonna lie…super glad that part of my day is over!) go EARLY!  Take your Bible, devotional, or whatever study you are going through with you and work on it in the car for a bit without any distractions.

* Wake up earlier ~ I don’t like this one, but I know for me that God is asking me to give Him more of day and for me it means to wake up an hour early.  It’s gonna be a struggle for the first few days, but I’m committed to getting back to this. {As I write this, my last daughter is a Senior in high school and drives herself to school, so my “early” is probably a regular time for y’all}.

* While you are driving in the car instead of listening to the radio, take that time to pray to the Lord ~ share your day with Him…what you are doing, where you are going, how you would like direction for the tasks ahead.  Or listen to some praise music and allow the Holy Spirit to flood your soul with uplifting songs.

* As you sit down to the computer or to watch your favorite DVR’d TV show, ask yourself if you have spent time with the Lord yet.  If you haven’t, take that moment to read some scripture and pray.  And if you don’t know what to pray, pray aloud the scripture you were going to read.  And if you’re really stuck, look at the date on the calendar and find the chapter in Proverbs that has the same number and pray the verses you read.  I promise that even if you physically don’t feel refreshed, the Holy Spirit will refresh and renew your mind.  Scripture NEVER leaves you empty ~ it will always fill you up!

* While you wash dishes, do the laundry, finish up housework ~ you can spend time with the Lord too!  Thank Him that you have a home to care for and a family to fill it up.  And when you’re done, thank Him that you had the energy to accomplish all that you did.

Cheesy or not, there’s just a few to get started with and I bet the Lord is giving you great ideas already how to combat the busyness of life with the calmness of His Word.  I’d love to hear from you to see how God is working in your life to bring you peace and life.

I will always be busy.  You will always be busy.  That busyness will look different in everyone’s life ~ stop comparing yourself to others.  Allowing the Holy Spirit to sway your life in the direction of spending time with the Father will always result in the same thing ~ a life of peace and calm that will help you in your time of need as well as in the moments when you are needed by others.

When you hold the empty cup of your day to be filled with the everlasting joy and strength of the Lord, you will be filled to overflowing…and that’s a promise!

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Blessings,

René

 

Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Uncategorized, Women's Ministries, Writers

The Rooms in Our Heart….

The other night I had an incredible vivid dream.  Now, this wasn’t surprising to me, because I’ve always dreamed like I’m in a movie.  Even before meeting my husband (who works in the entertainment industry) I dreamed in color, mostly in sequence, always wearing fabulous outfits, and if the dream didn’t end like I wanted it to…I’d make myself go back and finish it right!

Back to last weeks’ dream…

I was living on a beautiful piece of land, in an incredible two story home, and was surrounded by friends and family.  I determined that we were having some sort of party as there were loads of food & drinks, great decorations, and fabulous music playing.  I decided that our family must have recently moved into this new home and that we were having a “welcome to our new house” party.

Again, this did not surprise me as every time we have moved (14 in all in the past 26 years!) I have always ended up scheduling some kind of party within a month or so of moving in.  It’s something that drives my wonderful husband crazy, but he knows the method to my madness and loves me anyway!  What better way to get everything unpacked, put away, with artwork & photos hung up on the walls?  Have a party!!

So, the dream…..

Well, this home was amazing!  It was everything I’d ever wanted or dreamed of!  The party was in full swing and I was apparently taking guests on a tour through the house.  Each room was decorated perfectly and exactly how I wanted it to be.  Because we wanted to make sure this house was really “party ready” we decided to give ourselves about 6 months to get everything done.  This was finally going to be “the house” that we lived in forever!

After touring our guests through the house, I was leading them back out to the party outside to our park-like backyard.  But someone stopped me and said, “Wait….you didn’t show us what was in some of the rooms upstairs?”  I turned to them and told them I had shown them everything.  I mean, how could I live in a house for 6 months and not already know every inch of the place?

The guests insisted that I’d skipped several rooms, so off we went back upstairs so they could point out what rooms I’d missed.  I thought it was pretty funny and wondered how they could have been mistaken.

However, I’m the one who was mistaken!

The first door we opened was decorated all in shades of white (yes…there are many many shades of white!) and it simply sparkled with loads of silvery decor!  It had a gorgeous king size bed with a ton of pillows and of course was very frilly!  I could hardly believe my eyes as I took it all in.  How could I have missed this room?  I didn’t decorate it ~ how could I have when I didn’t know it had been there.  There was a lovely sitting area off to the left and there were several open windows, with the breeze flowing in and fluttering the curtains.  The incredible crystal chandelier radiated light everywhere and gave the room a lovely feel to it.  All I wanted to do was curl up on that bed and read to my heart’s content!  Just as I was truly absorbing all the beauty contained in this one room, someone else grabbed my hand and said, “This room is great, but I want you to tell me about this room.”, and they led me to another room across the hall.

I stood in front of ornately carved double doors and just started laughing.  I couldn’t help it because I knew I was about to open a door to another room that I had had no clue had been there.  But how?  We had meticulously decorated the whole house and the entire outside area for the past 6 months.  How had we missed entire rooms?

Well, I opened the double doors and discovered an incredible peaceful room.  It was done in various shades of green…not icky green or bright greens…delightful hues that begged you to walk in and make yourself comfortable.  There were deep couches and huge ottomans with trays on them filled with teapots and goodies.  There were mirrors, large windows, gauzy curtains, and the most luxurious cream colored blankets strewn across the  couches & a decadent chaise lounge in one corner.

This was getting wild!  I could hardly take it all in!  I asked my husband if he had surprised me with these rooms and he didn’t seem to be.  He just stood there smiling!  How was this possible?  I had never seen these rooms but I was completely thrilled with them!

Oh, one interesting fact of the dream was that each of the two rooms that I’ve described above, was that when I opened the doors it was as if the decor of the room was a little fuzzy.  It was then I realized that there were enormous sheets covering everything.  You know, like you see in the movies when someone has moved out of a house for a season and they cover everything up so the dust doesn’t settle into the furniture?  It was like that, and as soon as I removed the sheets, these spectacular rooms just lit up!

But there was one last room.   As I put my hand on the door knob, I just knew that this room was going to be my office.  A place where I could go to escape the noise of life and write, read, and study.  I just knew that it was going to be even better than the other two rooms.  In my excitement and anticipation, I threw the door wide open and was absolutely flabbergasted at what I saw.

It. Was. Horrible!

It was the “catch all” room of the house.  Old ratty furniture, empty bookcases, terribly dated carpet, and wallpaper that was peeling off.  The lighting was dim and the painted ceiling was dingy.  There were bags full of stuff to give away and old clothes hanging in the closet…that had lost its door at some point.  Oh, and don’t even get me started on the heavy mismatched curtains that were covering up all the windows!  I was so sad and disappointed.  I figured that this last “surprise” room would be the best one…one made just for me!  I remember feeling heartbroken in my dream.  Then I began to feel upset and confused.  Why would this room be so awful and unattended to.

UGH!  I even tried going back through the rooms (in my dream) to see if I found something different, and each time it was the same.  I awoke in the morning feeling a bit discontented.

A few hours later, I texted my daughter who lives in another state, and asked her what she thought of this dream.  She has studied biblical dream interpretation a bit and gave me some basics to start with.  I’ve also looked up a few online references for biblical interpretation, and it’s all pretty revealing!  So often God uses dreams to show us who He is or what He is calling us to do.

When you dream of ‘rooms’ this is God’s way of telling you that there are parts of your heart that are possibly not fully open to Him; or maybe areas of your life that God is wanting you to enter into but haven’t opened the door.  Rooms can also symbolize ~ intimacy; rest; privacy; peace; or covenant.  Oh, and a house represents a person, family; ministry; or church…and a two story house reveals a double anointing!  Windows was another big part of each of the rooms in my dream as well and they allude to ~ vision; letting light in, spiritual sight, and opportunity.

As for the colors, here are what the colors (in the beautiful rooms) mean: White ~ righteousness, holiness; Silver ~ redemption, grace ; and Green ~ growth, prosperity, conscious.

In the unfinished room, since it felt very negative in there when I entered, these colors are represented this way: Brown ~ compromise, humanism; Yellows ~ fear, cowards, intellectual pride; and Gray ~ weakness.

So as I have laid all this out and studied it this past week, I realize with great humility what God is trying to teach me.  Oh, and I never actually saw my husband in my dream or even the faces of the guests at the party.  But I was comfortable with all of them.  Sometimes in your dream a reference to “husband” can be a representation of God; as He is the ultimate head of household in our life.

Through this incredible adventure of a dream, I believe that God was showing me that what I think has been veiled is really ready and waiting for me to discover and it is perfect!  It is perfect because HE is the one who put it all together. I won’t have to do a thing except enjoy the blessings that He has for me.  The Lord has a life ahead of me full of growth, grace and a desire to live my life rightly before Him.  As exciting as those two rooms were for me to explore, “my room” that I opened had to be explored as well.

Through that ugly room, I believe God is showing me that there are parts of my life that are full of compromise, weakness, and fear.  And I know exactly what He’s talking about.  I know exactly what areas He is showing me.  And although I was feeling judged and discouraged, the Lord reminded me that my dream really did have a happy ending.  The last time I had “gone back” to that room in my dream, I remember turning and asking the guests who had been standing in the hallway (probably afraid to enter!) to come in and help me.  As these helpers came in, I remember feeling more encouraged and determined to make this room as special and inviting as the other rooms were.  With their help, I began to see the possibilities of what this room could look and feel like.  I began to get a picture of what could be accomplished in this room ~ but I couldn’t do it on my own.  It was a difficult yet soothing realization.

I believe that God has a double blessing of some kind for me and that He wants to shower me in the light of His love.  He wants me to turn to my ‘helpers’, which I believe represents the Holy Spirit, to show me what path to take to “get my room in order.”  God is revealing so much to me even now as I write this and it is almost too much for my heart to take!

Through all that I’ve learned, I hope that you can take something away today to apply to your own life.

Be encouraged to look at the rooms of your heart and see what God wants you to do with them.  Are there rooms that He has readied for you that you just haven’t discovered yet?  Are there rooms that you blindly walked past without noticing there was a door to be opened?  Is there a room that is in desperate need of your attention ~ one that you have kept locked up for so long you don’t know where to start with the clean up?  And the beauty of it all, we don’t have to clean up alone.

We are called into fellowship with each other, and with the Lord God!

Hebrews 10:19-25 says, Therefore, brothers, since we have boldness to enter the sanctuary through the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way He has opened for us through the curtain (that is, His flesh), and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

My prayer for you today ~ build your house on the foundation of God’s Truth; keep all the doors open to His love, direction, and correction; and open the windows to feel the warmth of His grace flow over your life!

Blessings,

René

1 Kings 8 verse 61

 

Christian Mentors, Moms, Parents, Public Speaking, Stay at Home Moms, Teachers, Women's Ministries

Do I have to be a “Stay-at-Home Mom” to be a Homemaker…

When I was a young girl, all I wanted to do was get married and have a house filled with children. That desire did not really dissipates the older I got. I went to college and earned my degree in Psychology; it wasn’t until partway through my senior year did anyone ever make me feel like I was wasting my time because I wanted to be a wife and a mom.
Upon return to campus after the Christmas holidays, glory be to the Lord, I did get engaged to the love of my life!  Let the wedding plans begin!!  During Spring Break that year, I was going to spend it planning the rest of our wedding that was happening in July. In one of my psychology classes, the professor was having everyone in the class share what they were going to be doing during spring break.
Wait for it….that was code for, “Have you bought your interview outfits and where are you applying for an internship.”  Also, he was wanting everyone to share how they were doing on their applications and what schools they were applying to in their pursuit of obtaining their masters degree. After about the first dozen people shared, it finally was my turn to share. I suppose naively, and thinking the professor would be happy for me, I gladly shared that I was going to plan the rest of my wedding that was coming up {and I was so excited to see my fiancé that I hadn’t seen for three months!!!}  I was so excited to finish up the last details for our wedding…why wouldn’t everyone be happy for me!
At that point, seeing the scowl come across his face, I realized I had gravely disappointed in him. He looked at me and said, “Good one, René.  That’s a pretty funny joke. Now why don’t you tell us what you’re really doing during spring break and where you were applying for your internship and grad school.”   And let me just interject here real quick….I went to a private CHRISTIAN college!!!
In that one moment I realized that in the modern age of 1990, a young woman was looked down upon if her goal, dream, and desire was to be an educated woman, who wanted to be a wife and mother.  A woman who wanted to have children and stay home with them. None of my friends in the psychology department at that time were engaged or anywhere near getting married. So unfortunately I really did not get any support from my friends in the class. I felt like I had to defend my dream.
I remember calling my parents , And of course I was crying, asking them if they felt I had wasted their education money that they had spent on me, because I wasn’t going to grad school. I asked them if they thought I was a failure because I wanted to get married and not continue into the field of psychology, pursuing full-time work in that area. The Lord was gracious and I was very thankful that my parents did not feel that one cent had been wasted on my education. They loved my husband-to-be as one of their own and they were very excited about our future together. I suppose it helps that my mother was also 21 when she married my dad, just like I would be.
I realized after that day, and talking to a lot of my friends at school, most of them said that their parents had pretty much set the mandate, that after paying so much money for so long, they were requiring their child to get a job in the field that they had studied in and have that job for at least several years before even thinking about getting married or having children.  Why did we have to choose the value of a full time job over the value of motherhood?
It’s not that I didn’t want to get a job or that I thought I would never have a job; I just knew that I never wanted to have a full-time career after having children, whenever that day ended up happening. I had two different jobs after I got married and was thrilled to be able to contribute to our joint savings account in that effort. After all that was, and always had been, part of my dream ~ to have a home with my husband and fill it with children! I am thankful that I married a man who valued the contribution I was making as well as someone who appreciated and wanted the same future I did…which meant that I would stay at home with our children instead of going back to work. This was my personal dream and my husband and I shared that dream equally. We knew making that decision, especially living in California, it would bring about sacrifices only having one income. I cannot express adequately in the immense joy and honor I feel at having the privilege of staying at home all these years with our three daughters.
I am content with my choice.  Just as I know that there are many women out there who are content with their choice at going back to work after having children.  I would never want any woman to feel guilty for that decision.  There are a lot of circumstances that go into that decision.  As much as I would not want someone looking down on me for staying home, I would never look down on someone who has gone back into a job outside the home.
I have great respect for all of the teachers who have helped to educate my three daughters.  My girls have had exceptional teachers who have made lasting impact on their life; and they continue year after year, to be a immense blessing to every student that walks through their doors.  I am thankful for my mother-in-law who worked incredibly hard as a single mom; to make sure that her children were taken care of.  I am thankful for my mom who, for the most part, was able to stay at home with my siblings and I.
But here’s where I want us to stop and really think about how we Mom’s treat each other.  Whether you work outside the home or not, we ALL have the toughest job around ~ motherhood!  Yes, I’m able to do fun things during the day like meeting friends for lunch or go sit by myself in a coffee shop and read a book for hours.  I am able to volunteer at my kids’ schools (yeppers…proud parent volunteer since September 1998 to the present) in a variety of ways.  And I appreciate my life everyday!  For my friends who either want to go back to work, or find themselves having to go back to work to make ends meet, I know many of them would much rather be at home bringing cupcakes to the end of the year picnic.  And many of them feel they are better moms because they have that creative outlet going to work.  Whichever end of the spectrum we find ourselves on, I believe we are all making the best choice for our personal family.  My story doesn’t have to look like yours, or vice-versa, in order for it to be complete and whole.
Ladies, let’s stop this crazy comparison deal!  If you work at home or you work outside the home (or a little of both!), we have the BEST thing in common ~
WE ARE MOTHERS!!!
The world does their best in throwing insults at us, as women, that we don’t need to bother throwing them at each other.  For heaven’s sake, just because your house doesn’t look like something out of Home & Garden magazine; or your kids birthday party doesn’t look “pinterest” worthy ~ do you know what is important to your children…YOU!
YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR CHILDREN!!
If you don’t believe me, sit down with your precious babes and ask them what matters most to them.  Depending on their age of course will determine their answers, and I think the younger they are, the more entertaining those answers might be.
My daughters are 22, 20, and 16 ~ when I’m fussing about something not being perfect or “as good as….”, they remind me all the time how the most important thing to them is that I’m their mom and they love me no matter what.  They would rather me laugh when their birthday cake gets stepped on, then freak out at the person who did the stepping.
{Yes…this actually happened!  I still don’t know exactly how a cake got stepped on when it was up on the counter.  I had to make a choice…freak out or figure it out.  I just cut a bit more off and made it into the first initial of the birthday girl…she thought it was more cool that way afterall.}
If you are a wife…
You are a Homemaker!!
If you are a mother…
You are a Homemaker!!
If you are a single mom…
You are a Homemaker!!
If you are an empty nester…
You are a Homemaker!!
The term “homemaker” came into verbiage somewhere between 1885-1890; the two words ‘home’ and ‘maker’ were put together.  To be considered a homemaker, the dictionary says, “a person who manages the household of his or her own family, especially as a principal occupation.”  However, it doesn’t disclude anyone from being considered a homemaker if it is not their principal occupation.
Consider these definitions:
* Home ~ a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household; the place in which one’s domestic affections are centered; any place of residence or refuge”
* Maker ~ to produce; cause to exist or happen; bring about; to cause to be or become; to put in the proper condition or state, as for use;fix; prepare.”
Go ahead and re-read those definitions above and take it all in.  Can you see the freedom in looking at the word “homemaker” now?  There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about to call yourself a homemaker.  As mom’s, we all work 24/7 at our job…yeah, I said it…motherhood is a job!  It’s hard work!  We have to mentally prepare ourselves for whatever emotional trail we find ourselves on each day…and every day is totally different!  We rearrange our schedules multiple times a day in order to get everything done and get everyone where they need to be.  But…take joy in each of those days!!  Even the ones where you are cleaning up poopy diapers and spit up ~ they will stop as your kids grow, but truly treasure each day!

I Peter 4:7-11 is a wonderful example of how God intends for us to conduct ourselves, inside and outside the home ~ “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever.”

These familiar verses in Titus 2:1-5 (Amplified version), I hope can be of great encouragement to you as well,But as for you, teach the things which are in agreement with sound doctrine [which produces men and women of good character whose lifestyle identifies them as true Christians]. Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in steadfastness [Christlike in character]. Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

After reading this definition and these verses, I don’t see anything in here about a woman not being able to be a homemaker if she only stays at home with her children and does not have a job outside the home. Whether you work at an office outside of your home, at an office inside your house, or you do not have a job outside the home…You are still a homemaker!  You have still been given the blessing and privilege of creating an environment that can be a healthy, happy, safe place for your family to retreat to.
We have a unique position as women to adjust the attitude and temperament of every person in our household. I’m sure we have all heard the phrase, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,!”  It holds more truth than we realize sometimes! Thank you for reading this blog today, I hope that it has blessed you.  I’m excited for you to start fresh today, no matter your circumstances, to breathe new life into your home.  YOU are the homemaker that God chose for your husband and for your children.  You have a special calling on your life as a homemaker ~ so enjoy it!!
Blessings,
René

I Peter 4 verse 10